My 10-Day Vipassana Experience.

I completed my second silent retreat in the form of a 10-Day Vipassana Meditation Course up in the beautiful forest area of Kelseyville, CA. I went with three intentions:

Level up my personal meditation practice

1. Heal a lingering psychological wound from a prior relationship

2. Fulfill a prerequisite for UCLA’s Trainer in Mindfulness Facilitation certificate program

This was by far the most powerful meditation technique I have studied and practiced through my journey to date. Like many, I started with anchoring in the breath which was very simple and easy. Later I took on a one word mantra with Ziva (similar to Vedic) which was very relaxing and easy. Vipassana, put simply, is the deepest and most concentrated body scan that I have ever performed.

Four definitions to become familiar with which I’ve simplified for this context from Merriam-Webster:

• Equanimity: evenness of mind especially in stress

• Impermanence: the quality or state of being impermanent

• Misery: a state of suffering and want that is a result of affliction

• Wisdom: ability to discern inner qualities

I’ve done body scan meditations before with simple observation, sometimes not sensing anything in certain parts and really only noticing the large and obvious sensations. Never did I think possible that there would be a technique that would expand my concentration to identify the smallest sensations on each and every part of my body and continuously scanning myself over and over. The 10 days gave me the opportunity to continue to further tune in to every body part as some were more difficult such as my abdominal and lower back areas. The bodily sensations that I got to observe within my own body included:

Day 4: Gentle breeze flowing down and up my whole body
Day 5: Glowing vibrations sweeping down and up rapidly that felt like they expanded five inches out of my body like a swarm of friendly bees
Day 6: Weird sinkhole forming below my left collar bone multiple times
Day 7: Unpleasant stretching sensation within my right shoulder
Day 8: Unpleasant stretching sensation within my left shoulder
Day 9: Feeling like my left arm was on fire while my right arm was in ice simultaneously

As I sat with each of the above for varying time periods, I got to really be calm in recognizing that each were impermanent, just like the ups and downs of life which was part of the purpose of the technique. The other part being to not develop attachments/cravings or aversions to pleasant or unpleasant sensations. These concepts are so easy to intellectualize that the only way for one to really understand for themselves is to try the technique personally to develop wisdom.

The benefits I realized:

1. I feel incredibly and more deeply connected to my body and my ability to listen to the physical sensations, especially the subtler ones that I had never noticed before

2. Beyond an intellectual understanding of my emotions (through which I’ve done a psychotherapy and human potential training to strengthen my grasp on), the technique has created an experiential way for me to literally sit with and be with both the pleasant and unpleasant emotions/sensations on a regular basis through formal practice

3. I understand the meaning of equanimity and how I get to live with a calm mind even when there’s a hurricane raging inside

My overall highlights from the journey:

1. Cultivation of my ability to concentrate heavily within my meditation practice like never before, 80% of the time my mind was able to stay focused on my body and I felt like Professor Xavier (Marvel’s X-Men) tapping into his mutant ability but with the exploration focused internally

2. The evening discourses were really lovely and complemented the technique appropriately, I was particularly struck by the explanation of the cultivation of wisdom within the context of learning experientially through my own experiences as opposed to through any kind of external conditioning

3. Discovering the wonderful natural sweetness of Celestial Bengal flavored tea

Observing silence was not one of my challenges however I did have five:

1. No physical contact: my love language is physical touch and I’m a big hugger

2. Two real meals a day: I consume 3,000 calories as an athlete and got to rebalance my macronutrients with more fat to be as statiated while factoring the decrease in activity level

3. Separation by gender: with the intention of creating less distractions, I came to appreciate the idea of the rule being a gay man

4. Suspension of physical fitness: I got to establish a daily post-lunch hike adventure to enjoy the highest level of activity permitted

5. Difficulty in falling asleep: some nights it took me up to two hours to finally go to sleep but once I did I felt so refreshed and I had vivid dreams every evening involving a different important person in my life

The changes and results I achieved during the retreat itself:

1. Enhanced my mindfulness practice with the addition of my ability to notice bodily sensations not only during my formal practice but also informally in activities such as noticing the sensations in my feet when I mindfully eat to the sensations behind my head and in my chest as my eyes filled with tears of gratitude following the final morning sit in the meditation hall

2. Gained tools to be able to identify both cravings and aversions in the form of experiential bodily sensations and to then be able to choose to respond objectively such as noticing a craving arise for my favorite Chinese pastry (The Pineapple Bun) upon returning to the city and recognizing the sensations and choosing not to indulge having learned and understood that cravings and aversions are what create misery

3. Cultivated resilience and determination after sitting in still equanamis practice for an hour at a time and not moving my body which symbolized my ability to be calm during life’s most difficult situations

4. Understood how to reframe, identify the manifestation of a self-created aversion and finally heal a lingering wound with a past relationship with loving compassion which had not occurred despite multiple forgiveness exercises over the past five years

5. During the rest periods the time in silence allowed me to source ideas for a future entrepreneurial endeavor in the athletic realm that I had been contemplating for awhile, this was not intentional but rather ideas arose naturally

I will be continuing my practice with this technique moving forward and would recommend Vipassana to anyone who is looking to:

1. Level up their meditation practice

2. Heal any past emotional wound(s)

3. Overcome any level of craving or addiction (from sugar to smoking)

Vipassana
Learn more about this meditation practice and to find the nearest center to explore the possibility of embarking on a 10-Day Course to develop your own wisdom.

Last enhanced on July 29, 2018.